The clichés “birds of a feather flock together” and “you are who you hang around” thrown at me by adults drove me nuts as a teen. In my 30’s, so many old sayings begin to come to mind as certain lessons of life were to settle in my bones - often through some very painful experiences.
“Those who don’t listen have to feel.” Is one that comes to mind now. This one I first heard my sister (who is 13 years older than I) say as she comforted her crying little one, after being warned over and over that the stove was HOT. OUCH! HOT!
I continue to hear myself saying, “AAAHHH! Now I get it!” about some truism I have heard all my life, but had not related to in my own experience. In one of these moments I had a cartoonish vision, imagining that once I finally “got” all the maxims that I dismissed as just some old saying it would be a game over I would die or ascend or dissolve… poof!
Today I am sitting with the themes of the sun in Aries, representing an inquiry into the question “who am I”, fully illuminating the moon in Libra, which represents our relationships and the way we relate to ourselves through others.
As I do, I am contemplating the truth within the maxims out there about the influence of our peers and what our choice of friends reflects about who we are, how we see ourselves and who we are becoming.
For most of us friendship, is a deep and layered topic. I have been watching my daughters transition from that time when one could play with whoever was around to the time when what we have in common in terms of interests, temperament, views on life and aspirations become factors.
Of course, social and cultural dynamics come into play, many of them assert strongly even though we may not be particularly conscious of them. They may even feel beyond your control.
As I do, I am gaining a much deeper appreciation for just how much who we cultivate friendship with reflects aspects of ourselves we may not be fully conscious of or appreciate.
Take some time in the light of this full moon and this week to contemplate the following questions. Carve out time in different moments, settings, time of day to just reflect. Set an intention to explore and answer, unfiltered, with the aim of simply gaining insight it who you are with respect to the people you choose to be in a relationship with.
Remember our Evolving Mindfully journaling ground rule: No criticism. Just curiosity.
What friendships are you investing in at this point in your life?
What do you do when you are together?
Do the things you do or talk about reflect what you are most interested in at this point in your life?
Do your friends challenge you to be your best self?
Do you truly speak from the truth of your heart with your most intimate friends?
Are there things you are hiding, why?
Do your friends encourage you to explore new things?
Do you judge your friends? If so, what is your relationship to the thing you judge your friend about?
Is there something that you are longing for in friendship that you are not experiencing?
Friendships factor greatly in whether, how and when we change in our journey to becoming the version of ourSelves that most fully reflects our gifts, purpose and soulful dreams. If this exercise reveals areas you would like to consider transformation, join me on April 8th for our Free Self-Mastery Session.