Bringing intention and skillfulness to a journaling practice can turn what could be a barfing up all of the negativity, self-loathing and hopelessness that we feel, which my journals were for many years, into a true exercise of awareness, acceptance, awakening and accountability; that when applied through the sense of self-love and right intention can be a powerful tool for for incremental gentle shift in our lives.
This month as we take pause to reflect upon, "Who am I? and Who am I becoming?", it is essential to inquire into where and who we come from.
We have all heard versions of cliches about becoming our parents and looking closely at the parents of potential partners because we are looking at who they will likely become.
The truth is, the tendency to unconsciously model the emotional, mental and behavioral patterns of our parents and primary influences from childhood is strong. It is also common that we develop resistances to things, deny or repress certain needs/aspects as an unconscious rejection of ways that our parents spoke, engaged with others, treated themselves, processed life or behaved.
Thus, considering your parents' beliefs, attitudes, assumptions about life and ways of engaging with others is a key to the kind of mindful individuation that enables us to express our own authenticity and create a life that truly aligns with our intentions.
I believe that many of us tether ourselves unconsciously to family patterns that we may have outgrown, ways of thinking that don’t serve, opinions that do not necessarily align with our values and emotional patterns that do not support our well-being out of fear of loss and disconnection from those we most love.
Mindful and intentional journaling can support us in taking stock without passing judgment. As we activate the Inner Witness (see previous blog), we are better able to gather important observations to support us in seeing what thoughts, beliefs, habits and emotional patterns it is time to transform to empower ourselves as we create lives that align with our intentions and aspirations.
Set aside some time on Sunday to look back in order to step forward intentionally.
Make yourself a cup of tea or something nourishing to sip.
Take a few moments to stretch.
Sit with a clean journal page and write at the top: No criticism. Just curiosity. Set an intention to set aside any resistance to observing aspects of your parents and childhood, be it your tendency to judge or reluctance to for fear of judging.
Set a timer and take 5 minutes to breathe deep into the belly and down into the hips and legs.
Sip your beverage as you ponder the following questions pausing to free write, allowing yourself to express the stream of copiousness, just words, narrative or drawing.
How did my father care for his psychical health and overall wellness? My mother?
How did my father address emotion? My mother?
Was my father emotionally attuned to other people in the family? My mother?
How did my father deal with stress? My mother?
Where do I see anything that emerges from this inquiry in me?
What aspects of these attitudes, behaviors and orientations are reflected in my choices?
These questions are just the beginning of where this kind of inquiry can lead and the insights that it can offer.
Remember the idea is to see where we may be unconsciously manifesting what was modeled to us or resisting it and how that may distort our attitudes, orientation and choices so we can identify what we may desire to transform to empower ourselves to create lives that align with our intentions and aspirations.
On Sunday, April 8th, I invite you to join me in our Self-Mastery Session: Transformation: Explore the What, How, Where, When and Why of Change. We will consider approaches to transformation that are doable and learn to begin to make small shifts that add up to sustainable change. Join Us Here.