Today the sun in Cancer illuminates the Moon in Libra in a state of balance. Half of the moon is illuminated and half is in shadow. It is a fecund time to ask where our relationship with the archetype of the Mother is illuminated and where it is obscured.
Many of us are reluctant to look reflectively upon our mother figure in a direct and conscious way. We tell stories that exemplify certain key memories or aspects of our upbringing, yet do we really consider how those stories live in us today? We may vent to a confidant or sibling about the frustrations and irritations (if our primary caregiver is still in our lives), but do we really understand where this lives in us?
If the person who we looked to as mother was physically or emotionally abusive, addicted, over-protective or neglectful, we may be more reluctant. If we lost our this person when we were younger, we are often more reticent to “go there”. While the pain we experience with respect to this relationship renders us ambivalent, greater peace, joy and freedom is worth moving into those challenging places.
Whether you think you had a good enough mother figure and have resolved any issues you may have had or you feel you would not even know where you start, take this opportunity to consider mindfully (not to judge, but for insight) who you are today, as it relates to who you looked to as a mother.
How did he/she/they navigate feeling and needs (theirs, ours, one another's, subsequent partners in cases of death or divorce)?
How did he/she/they relate to you as an individual person with your own thoughts, preferences, views and dreams?
What were the underlying ideas, hopes, fears that informed their decisions and actions?
What kind of home environment did they create?
Did they express a sense of resourcefulness or was there a sense of scarcity (this may or may not reflect actual economic status)?
Choose the question(s) that holds the most charge for you (this may be the one that you most resist) with an eye toward balance. Did your primary caregiver, the person you would identify as holding the place of the “mother” in your upbringing, present a balanced approach to these central aspects of navigating your the internal and external landscape?
Identify areas of imbalance and ask yourself:
Where do I see this play out in the way I am with myself and others?
What would it look like to bring balance into this area of my life today?
What would if feeling like to tend to a more balanced relationship with this aspect of who I am and how I relate to the world?
How would it change my relationship with this person or their memory to shift this within myself and how I engage in life?
Return to these questions over the next week as the moon waxes to full with the intention to come to deeper understanding. Breathe deeply into the qualities you desire to feel in relationship to what you discover. Allow yourself to explore how you thoughts and beliefs about yourself and the way you relate to your life might shift.
Stay tuned to Evolving Mindfully Facebook and Instagram to continue in this journey through this sun cycle.